My odyssey against inanimate objects

I'm really known for my absolute dexterity. Okay, maybe more for the lack of it.

In 2002 I broke a piece of glass that was used as a cake stand. In 2004 it was the turn of an 80-year-old chandelier versus a snooker cue. In 2005 I broke the drawer of a friend's freezer. In 2006 it was the same friend's car dashboard. And in the same year, the fury was directed at a ceramic in the shape of an apple banana. Apparently 2006 was a very productive year when it came to destroying random objects. I had a few years of quiet, until in mid-2012 it was the turn of not just one, but two eternite roofing sheets, if that's how you spell it. At least it was something I owned. I've even broken myself, one when I was run over in 2003, although it was someone else who broke me, and a little earlier in 2001, this time falling off my bike. This happened again in 2003, earning me the brief nickname of the king of the cloak. Ironically, I didn't fall so much when I was skateboarding. Balance arrived for a while, earning me years of not blowing myself up or destroying other people's objects. Although the occasional broken glass did occur. And just when I thought I was free of the curse, I ended up breaking a ceramic toucan in a family friend's restaurant a few weeks ago. I'm sure there are more stories, but for now that's what has marked me the most. Hugs to all. Long and prosperous life.